Why I Don't Follow Trends - Knowing My Own Style
A few months ago, a very dear friend of mine and I went shopping. I’ve known and loved her for years. She is always in the fashion know and has impeccable style. We were out shopping, and I held up a cobalt blue scarf and asked what she thought. She examined it carefully, and said, “This color really came in style about three years ago, but it’s definitely on its way out.” Without hesitation, I blurted, “I don’t care. I love this color and it looks amazing on me. I’ll wear it until I die. I was wondering more what you thought of the fabric. I typically don’t buy acrylic, but I love the weave.”
Because I admire her taste so much, there was a time when her statement would have had a different impact on my choices. She gave me her thoughts on the fabric and weave and we moved on. I ended up not getting it because of the acrylic (and the fact that it pills immediately), but not because some mystery council of fashion experts has deemed that this color is on its way out. I am no longer at their mercy.
I buy what flatters me, what makes me look stunning, and makes me feel confident. I buy what I like, and looking back over the years, when I was being true to myself, it was much the same as it is now. I love bold colors, black, white and navy. I really love blue. I love tailored clothing and statement jewelry. I LOVE shoes. Stripes are my favorite color. I gravitate toward solids, pencil skirts and dresses. I only wear stabby jewelry.
Muted, earthy colors and loose baggy shapes are on trend with the current boho thing, but those make me look and feel terrible. I don't like them on me, so I won’t wear them. For others, they are the perfect colors and shapes, and they SHOULD wear them, even when bold hues and tailored silhouettes are “in style.” What is in style for me is what looks best on me. I’m not a clone, and neither are you.
It is so liberating to know exactly what I look and feel great in, which is bold true hues, tailored, fitted clothing, classic styles with some edge. I know exactly what I like and what is right for me. I can tell the difference between what I like on someone else versus what I like for myself, which is a problem I had for a while. I saw clothes that looked fantastic on other people, and when I tried to wear them, I looked and felt ridiculous. It was frustrating.
How did that happen? How did I loose my beauty sixth sense? Why did I give away my authority for so many years? I think it started when I had kids. I started out with triplets, and that was a huge transition (but honestly, going from zero to one baby is a huge transition). I went from working in a business professional office to being a stay-at-home mom, and I didn't have the wardrobe for it. I didn't even own a pair of jeans. Even in college I didn't wear jeans, for some reason. Having kids and what it does to your body made me feel frumpy, and I didn't have the right clothes for my new job as a mom or clothes that flattered me, nor the time to find them.
I suddenly felt very lost and unsure of my identity in every way. I was a new person in a new job. Add 3 more kids in quick succession and I never had the chance to find myself again. I also thought that being a mom meant that I had to disappear as a person. I had to give up my identity and become Their Mom, and as Their Mom, I needed to blend into the background and do my duties quietly.
Now I have come back to myself. I know who I am. I embrace my identity, and I dress to reflect it. I don’t have to care about the trends. I will wear what makes me look and feel my best, and boho isn't it. I am unapologetically dismissing that trend for myself. I am also unapologetically wearing what I like. I like bold red lips, destroyed jeans, edgy hairstyles and leather. I know there are people who think I'm too old for that. "Destroyed jeans and leather and zippers are for college girls, not a mom of six kids." Says who? I love them. I need them to feel like me, and I won't let anyone tell me I can't have, say, a blue stripe in my hair. Because I did last year, and I might again some day. Possibly tomorrow. You'll have to wait and see.
All of this also means my blog isn't a place to find the latest styles. You will never see me in blush and bashful, nude anything, brown leather, off-the-shoulder tops, ruffles, florals, swingy tops, flirty dresses, mini skirts, bows, fringe, pleats, peplum, pom poms, or polka dots. I don't mean to say that I NEVER wear trends. I wear a trend if I like it, but I won't wear something that isn't me just to keep up with a trend. If there is something about it I like, I will adapt a trend to go with my style. Stripes are huge right now, and they happen to be my favorite, so I'm loving it! I wear them in more tailored silhouettes instead of the ruffly versions that are so popular right now. Layered necklaces? Yes. But in silver for me, not gold.
As a blogger that is a hard line to draw in the sand because many bloggers see their job as showcasing the latest and greatest of what is in the stores. They put together outfits that are up and coming or so on point, much like a fashion magazine, and they do it well. I see myself in a different role. I'm showing you what I wear every day as a stay-at-home mom of six kids, and showing you that you can be cute and put together in easy-to-wear and easy-to-wash clothes that get along with your life. My wardrobe fits my life, not the other way around. From there you can gain inspiration from what appeals to YOU. You might like a color combination I tried, but in a softer version of those colors. You might want to swap out my edgy details for feminine details and make it all your own. Do it! You might love all the things I can't bring myself to wear, and if you do, WEAR THEM. Wear them for as long as they bring you joy and make you feel and look wonderful. Wear them in the way that reflects who you truly are. Be genuine, be you, no matter what the magazines and bloggers are showing, including me.
Here is a round up of some of the not-on-trend things I'm loving in the stores right now.
I have this shirt.
I have a bold orange tee just like this and I love it.
The stripes on this shirt are different, and so amazing!
The preppy factor of this faux layered top is out of this world!
I don't wear eyelet, but this is an edgier version of it that I love.
This red half-sleeve tee is a bold and perfect basic.
This cobalt and white striped tee is on clearance!
I love gingham, and this scarf is perfect
What do you wear that is "out of style" but is totally you? Tell us and let's celebrate our unique, individual styles!